Thank You, American Society

Really, this makes me wonder if it's for profit. I mean, are they trying to sell breast implants to Americans? Should I just move to Britain. Sheesh!

You go, Keira Knightley. I have newfound respect for you:
Keira Knightley refuses breast enhancement for 'The Duchess'

We Children Always Do Grow Old

The title is actually a line from a poem written by my sister ages ago (recently found this on the Way Back Machine, so here is the proper usage: "And all that glitters is not gold: we children Always do grow old."). I proudly wrote about 1,000 words for my story last night. I thought I might do the same tonight, but the motivation isn't there. I just feel tired and drained... though there is no real reason for it.

In an odd turn of events, I've stumbled back into the past in the way of my old website. The Way Back Machine has archive some of my old posts. I thought I might share them randomly on this site. Maybe one of these days I'll just make a comprehensive archive on lyrael.com, but I'm not holding my breath. A lot of them are quite boring, honestly. It's so bizarre to me to read how important I felt my mundane life was back then what with taking so many webcam photos and writing about movies and snacks and lost friends. Odd how certain things you deal with in your life can completely destroy your self-view. Oh well... I guess my mood is strange tonight somehow, so that doesn't help the tone of this post.

Time for bed. In the meantime, enjoy a glimpse into my life in 2002 - exactly 6 years ago to the day. I am also throwing in the last webcam capture that site ever had, you know, for posterity or whatever.

July 28, 2002
"And sometimes the dark is too deep..." - me

I am not going to post the entry that this almost became yesterday... Instead I am going to switch gears and say that Patrick has done an incredible job with his new website and he even bought a webcam and seemlessly integrated his webcam pic into his page. Wow, you really kick ass Aspi! Go see his page NOW!

Here is an update from the 26th written when I got home from the gym/tanning after not sleeping all night:

I took the advice of a camwhore! Can you believe that? I guess I just needed an excuse. An excuse to hit the gym again. I know I have been lazy and making up "reasons" not to go. My sleeping schedule has been completely screwed lately. So... instead of going to sleep when the sun came up, I stayed up. I went to the gym and kicked my ass on the elliptical. It's been two months since I have been to the gym, plus I was running on no sleep, which I am sure is a bad thing. My body was exhausted after 25 minutes. I knew I shouldn't be there on no sleep, but I had to start going again, and today was the day. After that I did 3 sets of ab crunches and 2 sets of tricep presses. Anyway, my body was screaming at me to stop. I literally had no energy and I felt like I was going to puke. It was miserable. I am definitely going to sleep before I go to the gym again. Anyway, I proceeded to the locker room to wash my face, which was beat red (as always, but it got red fast and stayed that way forever this time)!

Another thing I had on my agenda for the day was tanning. I know, it's terrible for your skin! I'd never been tanning, and I always have wanted to try it, especially because I have bikini lines from the one time I was in the sun this summer, grrr! Anyway, I am usually a wuss and won't do things by myself but I am trying to overcome that. I felt so awkward being at the gym without Mike. I brought his headphones with me but they were probably more of a hassle than anything and after my cardio I just threw them in my bag. I am just tired of my shyness/introversion holding me back. I know I would normally not go to a tanning salon alone because I've been thinking about doing it all summer (well, since David's birthday actually) and keep making excuses, like "When I am in perfect shape then I'll go" or "When someone offers to go with me, then I'll go." I decided to just throw caution to the wind and go by myself. I was sweaty and red faced but I drove to the Quarry and went in anyway. And guess what!? I didn't have to pay because the first visit is complimentary! Rock on! Now, this was a very bizarre experience for me as I can't think of many times in my life that I have been totally nude in a public place. I was a little paranoid that someone was going to open the door to my little room and lift up the coffin-like lid of the tanning bed, but, thankfully (and realistically) that did not happen. I hesitantly crawled onto the bed once the lights kicked on, thinking, "you should NOT be able to see particles of light moving." It's the same thing that bothers me with black light or red LEDs. Man, that type of light is just not natural. Anyway, it was an interesting experience to say the least, and I may try it again to see if I actually tan and like it. We'll see. I am not gung ho about it. I am just glad I got the guts to do it. In fact, I feel sort of like it would be stupid for me to continue going knowing it's bad for me, but I also think "Fuck it, if you want to be tan, just do it!" Well... again, I don't want to be tan tan, I just don't want to be pasty, blindingly white for the rest of the summer. Off to bed with me as it is now noon and I want to catch some Z's so I have energy for the rest of my day.

Letter to God, Letter to the World

Dear God, World, Universe, Energy - whatever is out there...

I want to create and live off of my creations. I want to create by myself. I want to create with other people. I want to write, sing, make movies (documentaries for now). I want to help others get published and get published myself. I want to take photographs and sell them. I want Justin and I to take photographs together and travel the world. I want to make videos with Val! and have a following of people that are genuinely interested. I want us to be able to sustain a nice living off of these projects. I want to create, love and be happy - and I want the same for my loved ones and all those that want this for themselves, too.

I want life to be "how it should be." A community of good people, good friends, creating, enjoying, being out there in the world and really living and experiencing it all.

Thanks for the thunderstorm the other night. That was a great birthday present. And thanks in advance, for the future.

Love,
Ness

"one of these days all we'll do is create and live off of it, and travel and enjoy it all"

Pure Genius

Now all of us with font obsessions can sleep well at night knowing there are others out there that truly "get it" - Font Conference

I just wish that Ruritania and Papyrus had been represented.

Happy Birthday to Us!

Flowers, Balloons, Puppies, Twins
Originally uploaded by pandoralyrael

Flowers, Balloons, Puppies, Twins... Val! and Ness (well... I) turned 28 at midnight!

I guess, technically we don't turn 28 til midnight CT. Hehe

Happy Birthday to Us!!!!

And Happy Birthday to my twin sister Vallie!


Making Out Like a Bandit
Justin gave me a new cell phone, a black zebra shirt I'd been ogling, and a sexy, red 350 gig wallet drive. Sweet! Data in one, easy access spot!
Val! gave me a book with travel tips and inspirations for solo female travelers (Fly Solo) and a book about traveling for hobbies, education, or just about any other interest you might have (The 100 Best Vacations to Enrich Your Life). They're both rad. She also gave me a pair of pink star earrings a la Jem (which I'll be wearing soon) and a gift card for an *hour long* massage. WOOHOO!
Mom sent a lovely bouquet of flowers (pictured above).
ALA sent me flowers too. =) That was super sweet of them.
Lyndia (Justin's mom) gave me a necklace and earring set and cash (always good).
I've gotten phone calls; e-mails; IMs; Adventured.net, MySpace and Facebook comments as well as Twitter tweets. I feel loved. Thanks guys! =)

The Awesomeness of Puerto Rico

This is from a letter I quickly wrote to Dao and Rob (as they too have experienced the kick-ass nature of Puerto Rico):

Justin and I got back from a weekend in Puerto Rico late last night. We had a blast!!!! We took one of his coworkers (Alex) and his friend (Marisa). They said it was one of the best trips of their lives (and they've been all over the place). This is how our trip went:

Day 1: Breakfast at Casa Cubuy in El Yunque, hike through the rain forest and swim in a variety of pools. Get back to the hotel and discover there are masseuses-in-training just down the street. We each get a 1 hour massage for $20! Drive to Naguabo and go out with Capt. Paco to see Monkey Island and snorkel. Capt. Paco was super busy so he dropped us off on our own with a kayak and supplies! We snorkeled out there - just us, monkeys, fish and seagulls for almost 2 hours. It was great!!! We even got to take turns kayaking. We also saw lots of starfish.

It was amazing. Return to Naguabo and have dinner. Head back to the hotel with a stop to grab rum and mixers. Sit outside for hours talking and drinking before hitting the hay.

Day 2: Breakfast at Casa Cubuy then head to the end of the road, where no cars are allowed. We were informed of a neat hike that takes you across a metal bridge (actually, not so much a bridge as a big pipe over a river). We were the only ones on the trail (actually - on both days!). Hiked for a while and came to a beautiful scenic overlook. On our way back, Justin suggested we head down to the river. We found and amazing lagoon at the bottom of a treacherous looking waterfall! Marisa kept climbing up rocks and finding neat places to jump in from.

There were lots of tiny little fish and even some prawns! Leaving El Yunque, we stopped at a beach on the way back to San Juan, walked along it, and spotted some hermit crabs. Back in San Juan, we bought some food to take back to the airport with us (I got amaaaazing camarones enchilados - shrimp in hot sauce, and beans) and stopped for pina coladas at Barrachina - of course!!! We made it back to the airport just in time to get on the flight!!! All in all, an action packed, exciting weekend. :)

There were only 2 minor hitches and they both worked out. 1) Our camera tumbled into raging water and somehow we managed to find it. The memory card compartment came open during the fall and somehow we managed to find the Flash card, too! 2) Alex forgot his wallet at a gas station on the way back to San Juan when he was changing in the bathroom. This morning he spoke with a woman there that found it and is FedExing back to him free of charge! So nice!!!

Re-reading my entry above, I feel kind of like I am reading a diary entry from when I was a little kid. I was pretty much never patient enough to go into things in depth. I guess that isn't really a bad thing. :) Photos to follow. <3 :D

Photo Update
Ness's Flickr Photo Gallery
Justin's Facebook Photo Gallery

Breakfast with My Grandma

Nanny looking hot in one of Val's wigs. ooh lala

Happy Birthday Justin!

Click to enlarge the image above.

Justin is 28 today!

Happy birthday, sweetie. I am very glad to have you as my fiance and am looking forward to all the cool things we'll be able to see and do together. I hope you have a fantastic birthday!

Lots and lots of love, hugs, and kisses!
Nessy

Happy Fourth of July! - even you flying Uncle Sam

Happy fourth of July everyone.

Even Google is getting into the spirit to the last detail with their flying Uncle Sam in their Street View version of maps. Hilarious.

Thanks again Google.

Ponderings in the Shower

Written July 2, 2008: I moved to New York City so I could become complacent with my life. My life here is no bigger or smaller than it's ever been - neither more nor less important.

In a way, it *feels* a little bigger because of this enormously populated, exaggeratedly important city. Everyone knows of it, speaks of it, longs to be here for one reason or another even if they're at the furthest corners of the world. Movies are filmed here, books are written here, tv shows are shot here... It's definitely recognizable, and being even slightly affiliated with a place so well-known and lusted after makes my life feel just a millimeter more significant.

But in other ways, I am much more isolated in this cut-throat, self-serving, me-first sort of city. I lost it the other night, crying to Justin and wondering if I'd ever have any real friends again.

July 4, 2008: Happy birthday, Michieru. Hope you're making the most of it!