Last night Justin and I were watching Comedy Central. A stand up comic was reviewing some of her old material and making new jokes also. She got onto the subject of feminism and talked about how, after telling a particular joke roughly 10 years ago, she used to ask if anyone in the audience was a feminist. No one would raise their hands. When she asked the question on the show last night lots of women were cheering and raising their hands. She said that feminism is dead. What it means nowadays is that a woman has enough money to buy her own breast implants. Unfortunately, she is right in a lot of ways. Too bad I can't find the exact quote - but you get the drift.
Shouldn't we all be above the societal hype and influence? Aren't we all supposed to be happy with who we are and what we are without trying, wanting, having to change ourselves? Here's to wondering how much different and hopefully better things will be 10 years from now.
On the subject of my last post: The book How to be Happy Dammit just so happened to be sitting atop the JetBlue re-gifting table one day and Oscar brought it over to me, saying he thought I should read it. Basically, the book is filled with ugly art and valueless "uplifting" one-liners. I honestly can't imagine it took more than a week to put together. At the time, it absolutely floored me that it had been published! Imagine my surprise when I discovered the newsletter I recently signed up for on Thao's suggestion was by the same "author." Incredible. *shakes head* And it's not the only "book" she's published. She's actually published 29 "books!" I wonder - are they all of the same caliber?
Maybe I should go into self-help publishing. Nah, that would take too much motivation.
11 comments:
Great update but I must relate when I first read this page I thought you were stating this was your LAST POST as in LAST OF ALL TIMES and that - my dear sister - would NOT be sublime!
Sorry - I dare say - for all of these rhymes ;O
*;D*
Great update! Did the comedian seem to bitterly be stating the feminist comment? It is in a way true tho... When in college, however, I looked back to the 80s and was very happy we werent a work-out-obsessed anorexic culture like then. Then, of course, it seemed that overnight everything was diets and gyms and that jazz. Sometimes I think reality doesnt change as much as perception. (I mean heroin chic and Kate Moss WAS the 90s wasnt it? Then again, so was My So Called Life and a not-exactly-skinny Claire Danes) - so who knows?
And I think (and you know this) that Self Help books are the biggest retardation of 'literature' (Literati - if you will!!) that has 'ere been published ! and to this end, I avow that you, my chere soeur, would not in your most adept flourish of penmanship, be capable of drafting such fluffy trash. Therefor, if you don't mind me interjecting my own selfish desires and casting them as paint on your mental tableau - Write, in its stead, a novel - with your sister. You begin in Paris. Your boyfriend is visiting you...
And Action!
Very flourishy and interesting comment Vallers.
She (comedian) really didn't sound bitter... at all.
True about the 90s. And I agree that reality probably doesn't change as much as what our perceptions are/the stages we're at in life/what we're currently occupying ourselves with. We all just notice different things at different times.
Really good post. I also think that feminism has changed. I also think some of the changes are for the better. I'm old, remember, and when it began it was mixed in with all the Vietnam and civil rights protests and everyone had to one up each other, so a lot of it got ugly. I'm all for 'peaceful protest' and such, but, there were also some rather embarrassing events taking place "on my behalf". I think overall it was a great success in that it left women free to make choices themselves FOR themselves. Until that time most women deferred to fathers or husbands on life decisions. So, I consider that a huge success. The 'glass ceiling' is still thriving in most arenas, but, change does take time. I also think 'stupid' interfers with positive change. What I mean here is the headline catching type things women have tried to do in the name of equal rights, such as demanding to be allowed to join men only clubs, etc. I personally don't have a problem with some exclusiveness. It goes both ways. Also, I'm not convinced that all jobs should be open to both sexes. Call me old fashioned, but, if my house is on fire and I'm unconscious, I'd much prefer a big male fireman toss me over his shoulder than a petite female drag me out by my feet, banging my head on each step! That's just an example of one job. And, of course, this is all just my opinion.
As for the other thing - self help books - I can't really comment as I've never been able to make it through one. I read for entertainment and they're all just boring as hell. :D
MOM ^*^
Really good, thoughtful comment Mom. Thanks for shedding some light on how you felt the feminist movement was in the beginning vs. what it is today. It seems like most women's movements/causes inevitably get wrapped up in other movements/causes. It annoys the hell out of me, but that's just the way compassionate people are and I suppose I can deal with that.
I don't agree about men holding some jobs and women not. I am sure there are some strong women out there that would make excellent firemen. Just like I think women should be allowed to be soldiers, sign up for the draft, etc. etc.
Can you think of any jobs women can do that men cannot? I can't right off the top of my head. Sorry, "Mother" doesn't count!
There may be some strong women out there that can be firemen and there already are. Just not AS strong. This is already a fact. The requirements for becoming a fireman have been changed to allow for women. If they could do it in the same way, that would be fine. But, they can't. Hence the lowering of pounds required to lift, etc. That's not 'equal'. That's like affirmative action change. It's not always a good thing. I stick by my feelings on this one.
Mom ^*^
Oh, and as soon as I can think of a job that women do better or that men can't do, I'll for sure post it. Right now, I'm coming up empty, but, I know they exist!
When I first read the post title, I thought this would be your last post too. Vanessa quit writing? No frickin way!
Nothing is wrong with changing yourself for the better. It's being something you're not that's uncool. If people don't change/grow then no one will move forward, they'll be stuck in their own existence. But then again, to each their own eh?
Women can do a lot of things that men can do.. here are a few that would be difficult for women to pull off though:
- Gigolo
- Sperm donation
Funny that you brought up Karen Salmansohn right after the feminism comment, as this is her take on feminism:
I've always been a believer that a woman should be her full feminine self at the office. I'm into what I call "feminine-ism" - which unlike some of the hardcore "feminism" I knew growing up- "feminine- ism is about being feminine and powerful both - in one tasty spoonful.
Have only read her book 'How to succeed in business without a penis' so I can't comment on the 'happy' book. But the book that I did read had a lot of good tips in it. Didn't agree with all the tips but overall she had some good points. Are you getting anything out of the Karen's newsletter? A majority of the books she's written are more like coffee table books. Am I going to read them all? Nope! She quit her corporate job to write books and help other women. I have to give her props for that as many people aren't willing to take that risk.
As for the self-help books, there are a lot of crappy books out there. Just like there are a lot of bad books out there. Amazon.com reviews have provided a lot of insight into which books are worth the time/effort to read. I like to scour the reviews for an average or negative reviews because they seem to be more genuine.
I'm surprised to hear you bash self-help books because I thought you took to some of the things in 'nice girls dont get a corner office'.
brikee - I am enjoying the newsletter for the most part. I actually sent the one about uncluttering your life to my Mom. After that article, I decided to delve further into the website and find out who the author was. I was just ultra disappointed she'd produced the "Happiness" book because I remember that it left an obviously negative impression on me.
I am totally not bashing self-help books. I actually really enjoy them a lot of the time.
Regardless of the merit of a self-help book, I believe they are the ultimate get-rich-quick scheme. I just don't believe in myself enough to write one at this point. Maybe in a few months or years I'll have valuable knowledge to impart. ;)
Does that feminine-ism come with a spoonful of sugar? ;)
Ness - u should have faith [a faith a faith] in yrself - yr awesome! yr so creative and clever!
And my comment is lacking as i am tired!! <3 Love u!
I need to contact site admin urgently. Can you understand me?
Thank you
What's up Anonymous? I can understand you.
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